Download PDF , by Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
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, by Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
Download PDF , by Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
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Product details
File Size: 2282 KB
Print Length: 202 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1608828158
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications (June 1, 2014)
Publication Date: June 1, 2014
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B00KBEHMJ2
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#35,497 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Words can't express how grateful I am that this book was written! Learning about Attachment Theory and learning about being Anxiously Attached has been extremely liberating. "Insecure in Love" helped me to understand not just who I am, yet why I am, who I am. Something that no counseling (individual or group), no church service or bible scripture or any conversation with anyone could help me see or understand. I always knew that something was different and understood that I just don't operate in relationships like other people, yet the missing piece to the puzzle was why and where it began. Being a therapist myself, I recognize that w/out a proper diagnosis, you can't treat the real issue. "Insecure in Love" allowed me the opportunity to address the real problem from the root. I must admit that I am still very afraid of being able to make the necessary changes as I am slowly (and consciously) working through the exercises as instructed. I am courageously confident that finding peace is an option, because I at least feel understood and I have a name for what it is and a plan to fix it. This book was wonderfully written and provides examples to make it even more comprehensive. If you truly want to take a step in the right direction, this book will help you get there, not to mention, the author affords you the opportunity to contact her personally if needed (I actually spoke to her). She is a true HELPER and that speaks volumes about the impact that her work will have (and is having) on those in need.
I’m not one to typically write a review, but the reviews for this book are what compelled me to purchase and I’m SO happy I did. This book offers simplistic guidelines on how to identify the root of many personal issues that plague many people in relationships AND offers a neat and easy to follow guideline of how to help curb anxious thoughts and behaviors that sabotage relationships. Consider it a type of manual to identify, address, and curb irrational behavior and thoughts in a relationship. I read it once as an overview fairly quickly on my long commute via kindle and thought it was so helpful I purchased the hard copy to make notes and refer back to with ease. If you struggle with feeling not worthy, or not good enough even though you pour your heart into relationships just to come out on the other with yet again another failure, this book is most definitely or you!
AUDIOBOOK- The narration is kinda robotic, this book has exercises that need to be done, the audiobook has no attachments for the quizes or anything else which makes it really hard to apply and work on the concepts taught... The ideas are great and I really love the concepts, I suggest you buy the printed version in order to be able to take advantage of everything this book really has to offer.
It seemed more focused on people that are already in relationships. While it might have hit home for some, I didn’t take away much from it. I had to make myself read it. I ordered the book ‘Attached’ along with this and it was perfect for me. I’m single and have had trouble dating. That book did the job for me
Full disclosure, I only read the first 3 chapters. From reading the sample for the book I thought this might really help me to understand more of the root cause of my relationship anxiety. Then both by understanding and suggestions I might be able to be less anxious in the future. But when I really got into the book I found that their data and conclusions were sounding more like "if you're an anxious attacher you have little hope for a secure and happy relationship". Perhaps they get more positive and helpful later in the book, but from the first few chapters I felt like a piece of crud who had little hope of ever being secure in a relationship! No thank you. There are other supportive books that actually help.
This was a great read, and is now a useful reference book to understand attachment typologies. What I find striking is that this author argues that to overcome anxious attachment, one needs to actively find a healthy relationship (friendly, familial, romantic, otherwise). This is easier said than done, and possibly easier in some life areas than others. Also, I find that this approach could put a lot of undue burden on the “healthily attached†person; in fact, many advice columns continually argue that if a partner is too needy, to drop them. I suppose this is where genuine love, understanding, and communication come in, and possibly the lacking factors that might have contributed to anxious attachment. In all, my self-awareness has heightened and I am less emotionally reliant on others, however I am not sure that I am closer to attracting the kind of complementary partner that is described in the book. In this regard, I feel the author should have spent more time discussing just ways that one can reframe one’s interactions and strategies for the individual to use with a potential partner, friend, colleague, child, pet, etc. versus rely heavily on finding successful healthy romantic attachment; this would have been more practical because we form many, many relationships over our lifetime, and the author could have spent more time on the common denominator in all of them: the individual.
If you were granted access to my Amazon purchase history you would numerous self-help books. This is probably one of the best if not the best I've ever read. If you have been a shy, insecure person you need to read this book. She'll explain to you how you got that way which is part of the healing process. There are also tons of exercises to help you bring change into your life. It's not magic - it takes work on your part. The tools are there when you are ready for change.
I like this book because it has a lot of things you can put into practice and it explains all the attachment styles, so anyone could pick themselves out and work on what needs fixing. I was told I might be codependent, but that never seemed right to me - turns out it's not. This book helped me tremendously already. Would recommend to anyone.
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